What a joy to find your southern raised, well mannered mother lets down her guard and says something hilarious. Don’t get me wrong, she is always a joy to talk with but when someone wonders where I get my quick wit, snappy responses and sometimes unfiltered, unasked for opinions – mystery solved. No one cracks up a church nursery like Mom. Dad is also highly comical at times for a minister – but lets be real, God has to equip these people with a excellent sense of humor. If any questions – you can refer to any family pictures of me, my sisters and my brother in our early years. I think we realized our goal was too get in trouble but try not to repeat any older siblings mistakes.
I think of my parents parenting strategies a lot when looking at a new hotel, the staff and any issues that crop up. I think about how each situation, each employee, each guest may have a different solution or goal. My parents couldn’t treat us the same, discipline us the same or reward us the same. We all had different personalities, goals and motivations. There is no text book that can give you the answers – where as long as you follow the list – your mission is accomplished. You truly have to draw ideas from every source you can and find what works for you. I had a supervisor tell me – just because I came up with a solution, wrapped it in a pretty box and I would be happy with it – doesn’t mean the client will like it. Some people are there to challenge you just when you think you are at the top of your game. Thank those people. They keep you from getting too comfortable.
My daughter is a great example of this – I cannot rush her to agree with me or see how I am trying to help her at times. She processes her feelings and her decisions on her timing, not mine. She has been a great teacher of patience for me. She has been an exceptional child, pre-teen and now almost adult. Very few hormonal rages, very few big mistakes – she is a cautious methodical individual. Which for me – can be hard, I wasn’t , never have been and “play” at being cautious or methodical. I have to work at it. I sometimes tell her, make mistakes – that is what a teenager is supposed to do. But I am grateful at the same time, that she is such a mature thinker. When I do get home from traveling, I go from a big hotel bed by myself to a queen bed that could have my daughter and 2 dogs. She always falls asleep first, and this is when I look at her face and try to guess what the next couple of years look like for us. College for her, maybe less travel for me. I notice that she is beautiful, and not in any way I could have predicted. I have always thought so – but her intellect and personality make it that much more noticeable. As she gets older her goals change and she will change how she goes about getting what she wants. How she will react when she doesn’t? I see this a lot, and have it happen myself.
The trick is how to move on, how to advise someone to move on, make a new plan. What if you are working with someone who is frustrated and is not wanting to get up and brush off the disappointment? Maybe your advice or coaching did not work as fast as they wanted. And they are looking at you to blame. But much like any situation at work – I figure out what our strengths are. What do we agree on? Once there is some common ground, anything is possible. I am quick to give examples of where I have failed, or gone after something and not gotten it. Leaders have to be transparent, people only share their goals with those who have their own goals and are open about them.
Are you a leader? Does your staff know what your goals are? More importantly – do you know theirs?